week 06 | 09 February 2020
Hi Lovelies,
This week has been one of the most fun weeks I've had in a while. I think I am a busy bee because whenever I'm busy, I'm a happy gal.
This past week has been freshers week. I've been helping out where I can on campus and I really enjoyed it.
Meeting a lot of new people can be exhausting, especially if you're an ambivert like me, I run OUT of social battery in situations and it's usually signalled by anxiety or a sudden heavy desire to sleep. Thankfully, I was in tune and could break off whenever I needed to, otherwise 👀
One of the reflections that are very prominent in my mind right now is the whole concept of energy. Energy and boundaries.
For a hot minute, I've been struggling to set strong boundaries with people who have negative effects on me. I have always let it go or slip and it has always come to bite me back at the end. ALWAYS. I noticed that my inability to set a concrete boundary came from the root of people-pleasing I expressed as a child. I wanted everyone to be happy even if it came at my expense. That self-sabotage in the direct sense of people-pleasing scenarios has died down, but the root is still there and so is the self-sabotage. Which is why I feel bad about cutting people off and not hanging ou with anyone.
On Friday, I realised that actually, all the anxiety I've had around how people see me basically has been baseless. I cannot change how they see me, I have known that, but I can control which ones of them gain access to me. I don't have to sit at every table. Knowing this now makes it easier to set boundaries and nurse my energy when I need to.
There have been so many nuggets of wisdom I've found out this week, just like this but I felt that this one was the most important.
I hope this serves you
much love
T